bout time

My son has been an angel today! Took a 4 hour nap this morning and a couple 2 hour naps throughout the day. When he is awake he has been quite happy. So I am happy. I have been meaning to write some thoughts on here. Perhaps post some pictures but now everyone sees pictures on Facebook but I will do it anyhow so when I go to print my blog I will have them in here.

I had been having thoughts about being single and being married with a family and the differences and I have decided that is all it is...different. Not worse, not better...(ok maybe a little better) not busier, not more boring, not less boring, not more exciting or less exciting...just different. We tend to get in trouble when we compare. I once heard the definition of Pride was when you started comparing yourself to others.

Time management is an interesting subject. When I was single I had discussions with other single girls that we felt there was a prejudice out there that married people thought we had all the time in the world and they were jealous of all our "free" time. We would rant about how we worked full time jobs, still held callings, and we were the sole providers and caretakers of our livelihoods. We couldn't call anyone to pick up milk on the way home or fix the drain, we were wearing all the hats in the family. I was curious to know how my perceptions would change when I get married and had children...so far here is what I observe.

In a day I might have 30 things planned...as a single person I got about 20-25 of them accomplished...as a married person...15-20...as a mom...2-5. As a mom you plan so many things in a day but don't manage to get many done..not because you are lazy but because your child takes precedence over almost everything...when he is completely dependent upon you and he eats every 2 hours and inbetween then you have to change him and burp him and cuddle him..well it pretty much takes up the whole day for now.

I used to jump in the car and run around to all my errands...I might skip one or change the order or not get to all of them, but as a mom I have to plan VERY carefully. Will my child wake up in the middle of my shopping and start screaming in the store because he is hungry? What will I do? Abandon my cart? let him cry and suffer the stares? When I see he is in for a longer sleep I jump in the car and take him instead of sleeping myself. The same goes for cooking dinner and cleaning around the house. You are sleep deprived and just not able to do as much, not making what you do any more or less important.

So I think married people get jealous of the freedom of choice and mobility that a single person has...and even when I was single I recognized that freedom and knew one day it wouldn't always be that way. However, as a mom my chores and caretaking bring me great and everlasting joy. I am not upset when my son cried half the night, he is so adorable and he is mine so I don't seem to mind too much as hard as it gets some days.

I guess my ultimate conclusion goes back to the beginning where I say it is dangerous to try to compare any lives, any trials, any burdens, any joys. We are all in life and each of us is at a different point at a different time and place. My experience as a mom will be completely different than anyone else's due to my past, present and future experiences and conditions. We will all have good time and tough times.

My friend said it the best I think when she guessed the purpose of life was to learn to have and maintain healthy relationships. I could agree with that. My husband Mike always reminds me to live in the present. Don't worry about the past, there is not anything you can do to change it...don't worry about the future...it isn't real because it hasn't happened yet...just live in the present and do your best at this moment. Pretty good advice if you ask me.

Thoughts on Motherhood

I have so much in my head to write and so little time to write it. So for the time being (since Scotty just started to cry again) Motherhood takes a lot of time. :)

He is a natural..

Yesterday Scotty had his first photo session...he did a great job...here is a sneak peak

http://www.photosbytonya.blogspot.com/

more baby story

Finally I got to hold my little boy. I had waited so long to meet him! I know it sounds crazy but I had this fear he would come out looking odd but he is the most adorable and beautiful baby I could have ever hoped for!


They wheeled me to my room and I spent the next 3 days in there. The nurses were wonderful! I had many embarrassing requests and was pretty much helpless for the first two days. I had to ask them to hand me my baby and put him back. Still I couldn't have been happier. Mike stayed with me and slept overnight at the hospital. It was such a special time with our family.

The Happy Family

Proud Daddy!

Grandma Watkins

Grandma Miller

Grandma Collier

Aunt Amber

Uncle Eric

cousin Lilly and Branson

Scott is here!

I have wanted to post for several days now but explorer wouldn't allow me to log in...I finally had time to fix the problem. Anyhow onto the more exciting news!!!

Let's see a week ago we woke up very early and drove to the hospital. I had always imagined a somewhat frantic ride to the hospital. But we were allowed to enjoy the beauty of the morning sunrise and talk about what a special morning it was and how we would be a family of 3 in just a few hours. It was a very special drive. The sun was rising and the daybreak was incredible.

We arrived at St. Luke's about 6 am and they started hooking me up to all sorts of machines right away while Mike read a motorcycle magazine. He said he was looking for a bike to buy Scotty in the future.
Lets see next I was wheeled into the OR. What an experience. My first surgery! I was kind of hoping to skip that experience in life but hey the only way out of this was through it so I put on my brave face. They first gave me an anesthesia. It numbed me from the chest down. It was very weird! I could feel my legs were numb but could not feel when people touched me and I couldn't send any signals to move my feet or legs. I sort of got an idea of how a paralyzed person might feel. Not something I want to experience! Then I was hooked up to so many machines! They wrapped my legs to keep the circulation moving, put me on oxygen, gave me an IV, covered my head, put heart monitors on me and who knows what else! I felt like an alien.
The doctor asked me how it felt when they pushed on my stomach and I said, "Ok I will tell you when you push" and she replied, "good, I am pushing"...didn't feel a thing. All the while Mike was there with me. He peeked over the curtain and I asked, "Have they started?" He replied, "uh, no". As he later tells the story when he looked over the curtain the doctor had her arm up to the elbow in my stomach getting the baby out. The suction sound I heard immediately after told me they had already started. So strange to know what was going on but not feel a thing. Soon she announced, "It's a boy! time of birth 8:01 am" What sweet words to hear. And then to see him and hear him cry. Every woman dreams of that moment. The only sad thing was that I did not get to hold him right away. I saw all the nurses touching him and my husband got to hold him but I had to wait another hour till I was in the recovery room to hold him.
To be continued......

oh baby

Well this morning I had my Dr. Appointment for my weekly check-up. They had scheduled an ultrasound to see how big the baby really was. (So far only 8 lbs. 2 oz! HOORAY for the one good news moment today!) I asked Mike if he wanted to go. He didn't really want to come but at the last minute decided to come along. I am glad he did.

We arrived and they started the ultrasound...immediately I saw the head....at the top of my stomach and I said...oh dear he is breach. That was confirmed. Well almost breach, his bottom is down and feet are to the side. waaah!

The doctor said I needed to go over to the hospital for an aversion (which means the doctor tries to turn the baby with her hands pushing down on my stomach).

We arrived and they gave me a shot of something to relax my cervix. She said it would feel like I had 4 cups of coffee....well now I know what that feels like...got the shakes! Then the dr. came and told me that either he would turn right away or not at all and the pushing might send me into labor in which case they would have to do an emergency C-section. She said that had never happened which made me feel better. The aversion didn't hurt like I thought it would, slightly uncomfortable but that is all. However, baby didn't want to budge so they monitored me for an hour and sent me home. :(

I go back in on Tuesday to see if he has moved at all and if not we schedule a C-section. I really wanted to do this naturally so I will keep praying but in the meantime do some reading up on C-sections. It does make me a bit more nervous I have to say but my husband always reminds me that I shouldn't worry about things that haven't happened yet. That is a hard thing to do!

Thanks to Mike for being there for me today. So nice to have someone who cares for you right there holding your hand and supporting you through it all. Marriage is a wonderful thing.

was it irony?

That I am the music director at church and we sang today, "We thank thee oh God for a Prophet"....


and all the bishopbric and my husband giggled when we came to the part..."and we know that deliverance is nigh..."

I should have faked a contraction...

Big Day!

So today I had my Dr. appointment. I was sort of hoping not to have it and to have had the baby, but I made it! Just 2 weeks until my due date. I have not dialated anymore. And my doctor informed me that this baby is going to be 9-10lbs! Just great. My first baby is going to be huge! I wasn't nervous before but I am now and all the sudden I have lots of patience and am in no hurry to go into labor!!!!

Next news.....I got the sod in the backyard thanks to facebook! I sent out a message to all our friends in Nampa to come by for a sod-laying party at 6:30pm. At exactly 6:30 pm my home teachers showed up along with our next door neighbor and my husband. Look at the huge difference!!!!

BEFORE

And...AFTER!!!!

I have to give a HUGE thanks to Ron Jr. who spent 3 1/2 weeks cleaning out the weeds, old branches, and junk out of the backyard and leveling the ground so I could have a beautiful yard. He has also been watering and mowing for me while I am pregnant. He is our next door neighbor and has been a lifesaver!